just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
