so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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