): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
