By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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