i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
