using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
