Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
