Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
