they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
