Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize