The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
