I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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