People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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