If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
