obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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