She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
