I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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