Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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