I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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