Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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