U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
