I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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