I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
