Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
did i walk over a car last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize