No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
