That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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