So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
