We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
