Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm at about main and main street
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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