It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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