I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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