if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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