my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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