508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize