i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
