I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
