so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
