So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
