dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
