I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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