Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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