Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
