i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Randomize
