He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
