Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
