Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
