The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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