Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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