Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
