Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
