Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize