im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
