I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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