I met the friendliest cop last night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
God, I missed his penis.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
