CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
