i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
