If i could tip my vagina, i would.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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