maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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