Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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