Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
