we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
