Duck Duck Cougar?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize
