I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
