we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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