Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You've changed since you got that strap on
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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